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Don't marry someone just for the sake of your parents.

Your parents are the only ones who really give a shit about you. Everybody else always intentionally or unintentionally have agendas of their own. Only your parents’ love is unconditional. But it's also important to understand that not all their decisions are meant to have a good outcome. They are prone to making mistakes as they are humans too. Trust your judgement too, always ask yourself is this what I really want in life?

I see people marrying someone they barely know just because their parents think that's the right life partner for them when in reality the parents themselves don't know much about the other person they just decide that's the "Right Person" for you based on some recommendation from relatives and friends. All they see is the bio data of the person and their picture and make the decision of your life. it's like seeing profiles on tinder and when you swipe right and match you don't talk or go on a date but you straight away marry that person. I recently read an article where a guy mentioned about how a girl he knew from college was being tortured by her husband. The girl was 28 years old and was a teacher by profession, her parents asked her to get married to the "Right Guy" as they were being pressurized by their relatives because of her age. When the girl said No, her parents told her "we are getting old and sick and we want to see you get married" and due to the emotional drama the girl got married to a rich businessman's spoiled brat who was a college drop out, not because he was some kind of genius but because he was too dumb for the college. He immediately made her quit her job as he felt insecure of her education and qualifications. Then he started hitting her and gave her talaq by whispering it three times and then the girl called her college friend who is a lawyer to ask whether now she is divorced following the previous incident and when her friend asked her she told him the entire story. Her friend told her "Your parents are going to get old and sick whether you got married or not but it's not your parents who have to live with that guy for next 40-50 years, it's you! don't spoil your life leave him and start a better one." Don't get into the emotional drama put on by your parents, keep your stand and do what you want to do in your life.

How many of you think your parents will say yes when you tell them you have known someone from a very long time, you both have been together since long and now you have decided to get married. Not many! They will either start with how dare you? or who is the person? You tell them everything and how you made a mature independent decision keeping all the facts of present and future in mind and they will say this golden words, but the person belongs to a different caste you both can't get married if you do we will lose our respect in the society. For 95% of people in India society's approval comes before their children happiness. It's a fact! The same people will then ask you to marry a guy whom you barely know and have sex the first night you meet them, why you ask? Because you belong to same religion silly! The person can be a total nightmare but who cares you both belong to the same caste it's all good, now you adjust with that person, have kids and live the life billions of people do. A sad, very sad life. I hear girls say we need to get married before 26 or we won't be able to bear 2 children after we are 30. Like seriously? all you came on earth to do is to make children with the person you barely know? You have no passion for your life or your career all you worry about is having 2 children before the age of 30. These people belong to the same generation as mine and when they have such a mindset I really feel sorry for them.

Why do parents think that their children don't know what's right for them? The problem is that they know their children is grown up and know what's right for them but they have already decided their future before they were even born. They already decided what they want their child to be, where they will study, also include your foreign education if it meets their budget and how you will marry the person of their choice and they will spend their life savings on that occasion and to fulfill their desires these all propaganda takes place. I heard this story in a comedy show, A person had a baby boy and the day he was born the father decided his son future. He decided that his boy will study in the best school in the city, he will then go to London to complete his MBA and return back with great qualifications which will help their family business reach new heights and when he comes back he will get him married to his best friends daughter. Everything was going as planned and son was sent to London to complete his MBA. When his son returned after completing his MBA he brought a friend with him. His father asked, Who is he? Son replied He is my boyfriend and we are planning to get married this month. Guess what, you can't really decide and control your children future, let them be and do what they want to do so that your child can really be happy.

Recently my cousin was getting married and I asked my aunt we hardly know that person and you people decided to marry them and she replied No, beta we know his cousin uncle from 5 years and he recommended this "Rishta" I was like how knowing his uncle makes you know that person? Like seriously, what a fucked up logic? Yes, they are married but not happy but who cares "Same religion" is what matters! How parents and relatives turn to be total communist when it comes to marriage is seriously so stupid, they will curse all other religions to death and make their religion the #1 by all means.My cousin brother was about to get married last October and it he was the first person in our family who was about to do love marriage but he broke up with the girl before few weeks of marriage for some reasons no one knows about and since then it became an example for every kid in the house on how love marriage ends up. In a heated argument, one of my uncle said "Usne love marriage kerke kiyaukhad liya?" I replied "App logo ne arrange marriage kerke kiyaukahd liya?" and there was a pin drop silence. Ask your parents if they are happy with their marriage and tell them to answer honestly, if they really say the truth 99% of them will say they are not. Almost all women are with their husbands just for the sake of their children and fear of the society. We mock American culture but if we had real freedom in society like they do the divorce rates would be a lot higher in India as Indian men honestly sucks, all their life they are taught by their parents to be some kind of superior human who can get whatever they want because he has a dick, which really makes him a dick in real life!

Do arrange marriage or love marriage I am no one to judge or make an opinion as anything can work you but don't do it just for the sake of your parents desire. Ask for time, meet that person and get to know them more and if you really want to then only marry and don't do it too early when you are not even mature enough to handle your expenses and savings. Make a career first, be independent, read books and learn more about relationships before you decide to get married andif you are in love with a person of different religion don't listen to what the world has to say just listen to what your heart has to say and do what feels right! If you are living your life to please people, you will end up unhappy. This is your life and you are in complete obligation to do what makes you happy, irrespective of what everyone says. The world is full of people who will give you advice on how to live your life whereas their own lives are a sucky goo! Your happiness is your own responsibility, no one can fix that for you.

Written by Vishal Jain

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